![]() In fact, Sarah (the VP of their department) and I were talking about it afterwards. Jacob: Kyle I wanted to say again how impressed I was with how you ran the meeting last week. The following script is a modification of what I wrote out for Jacob as an example of how he might bring up the issue and give negative feedback in a productive way: How to give negative feedback in a positive way “What are your thoughts about that and how might you handle it differently if it happens again?”.“Here’s one small area where I think it would have been more helpful to handle differently…”.“I noticed the really good things you did in the meeting.It would benefit all parties if he did it in a way that communicated: We discussed how it would benefit all parties - Kyle, Jacob, and their employer - if Jacob gave Kyle this professional development feedback. He also worried that focusing on this one small area would set back their slowly improving relationship. He was concerned that it might lead Kyle to believe he didn’t notice or appreciate all the good things Kyle did while running the meeting. Jacob rightly saw this as a great coaching opportunity to help Kyle grow professionally, but was worried that addressing that one area would make him sound overly critical. Will this feedback be helpful or make things worse? There were a couple of places where the meeting stalled out, in Jacob’s opinion, and Kyle let it languish versus getting it back on track. Kyle did an excellent job, according to Jacob, except in one minor area. When asked how he might approach a project, Kyle started giving well-thought out answers, rather than rushed “I want to get him off my back” answers.Īs part of our plan for giving Kyle more opportunities to shine and to demonstrate what he truly was capable of, Jacob asked Kyle to facilitate an important meeting, something Jacob had never considered asking Kyle to do previously. For the first time in years, he showed an active interest in contributing. In response to Jacob’s more respectful interactional style, Kyle started speaking up in meetings and in one-on-one conversations with Jacob. When the manager changes, so does the employee Even though by nature he was very self-assured and convinced of his rightness in most matters, he was willing to consider that perhaps he was the common denominator in the various ways his team disappointed him.Īfter a couple of months of discussing and analyzing his interactions, Jacob was able to see that his interpersonal style played a central role in the lack of engagement he saw Kyle displaying.Īs Jacob and I worked on how he could interact with Kyle (and the rest of the team) in a more respectful, inviting way, Kyle’s behavior began to change. To his credit, Jacob was willing to look in the mirror and examine his behavior. His aggressive and often condescending approach, his not listening and frequently interrupting had alienated his team, especially the soft-spoken, mild-mannered Kyle. He was, unfortunately, reaping what he was sowing. While he acknowledged that some of his behaviors were inappropriate, he saw Kyle’s lack of initiative and unwillingness to think for himself as inherent flaws in Kyle’s make-up, not a result of his management style.Īfter interviewing Jacob’s team, including Kyle, it was clear that Jacob was his own worst enemy. Jacob had been referred for coaching because of his overly aggressive management style. Besides Kyle seeming to have no interest in exploring more opportunities for their team to contribute to their employer’s strategic goals, he rarely came up with answers to Jacob’s questions about how processes could be improved. He was frustrated with what he saw as Kyle’s lack of initiative. Jacob (not his real name) wanted to get better at managing one of his direct reports, Kyle (also not his real name). How to point out the negative in a positive way ![]() If the manager knows how to point out what needs to be tweaked a bit while getting the message across that she recognizes and appreciates all the positive aspects of the employee’s performance, her feedback will be far more useful and motivational. So the manager remains silent, and the employee misses out on an opportunity to receive useful performance-improving feedback. They fear that if they do bring up what needs to be improved, the other person will feel like all the good things they do aren’t appreciated and don’t matter. ![]() The manager fears their feedback will come across as “picky” or seem like they only notice the negative, not the positive. Often I’ll have managers express reluctance to give performance improvement feedback to an employee who is either a great performer in general or an employee who did something well, but had a couple of areas where they could have done things better.
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